One Less Thing To Worry About

Ok so, I'm making it through the work week. Lots of fun stuff to do, like sorting through all the most tedious and cranky data I've ever had to sort, going to a luncheon honoring those who have served or are outstanding students with disabilities, and surprising our administrative assistant today with donuts and coffee and a decorated office and a big ole card! Oh, and so far I've raised $75 towards suicide awareness this week. On May 1st we're having a walk on suicide prevention. A lot of this is in reaction to the two suicides we had in my buildings. This morning I went to a workshop on how to help my LGBTQ students better identify whether jobs they are interested in are a good fit for them, by state laws, nondiscrimination policies, domestic partner benefits, and industries that tend in general to be a little more gay-adjacent, or even possibly alleys to our transgender folk. That was nice, I always jump at the chance to learn more about ways to help marginalized...

Yesterday I found a little egg skillet, egg white egg-mcbagels here we come!! Yummy! There are always lots of little treasures to find in the super clearance rack. I SO am my mother's daughter, can't walk away from a $3 skillet or any other deal. =) Yesterday, the best part of my day was bringing home excellent chinese food, and then spending 3 hours teaching Collin and Christian the cupid shuffle, a little bit of the cha cha shuffle, showing them a few different versions of the hustle, (wobble, and achy breaky heart) and also the "alligator crawl." Somehow on the ride home, we got talking about dancing. Collin was like "I don't dance" and I was like, don't give up now, you will need to find a wife SOMEDAY. Dancing is a very attractive trait! I told them about how for a wedding I made Jason take ballroom dancing with me, and he liked it more than I did!! Then when we got home I spun Collin around and dipped him real, quick, he didn't know what ...

Hey there! I've continued to organize and I have an awesome boyfriend. A couple nights ago, he went to the grocery store at almost midnight to purchase himself some more stuff for his cult diet, and also, to buy me ziploc bags because I'm going through them like they are the best thing since sliced bread. I have organized so many crafts and such via ziploc. All the stickers have purpose when I can find them! Thanks ziploc! All odds and ends fit in ziploc. Not only does it protect from freezer burn, it protects from dust, discoloration and is starting to feel like the 1950s when people ziploced their furniture. Someone better come confiscate the plastic wrap from my apartment before I figure out how to "rip" it without messing up and sticking it to itself and all over myself! (Oh, btw, no ziploc was harmed in the writing of this blog, and no I am not the new spokeswomen for ziploc, I'm just a girl with brain cancer who talks too much!). Today the big project was ...

The students are on spring break, we are out of the office, and so today was my first day completely alone all day at the apartment. Listening to my music was good, trying to sing with it made me cry. I haven't sung since college. This is sad, I used to sing all the time. Some people would say it's a waste of a good voice. BUT, they didn't hear me today, I'm out of practice! It wasn't the off key that made me cry, it was the lyrics. I tend to be a lyrics person. I haven't paid attention to that part of myself in a long time, finding it opened another outlet to emotions. Emotions have always been variable, and I feel them so deeply that sometimes they would scare me. Lately, I'm trying not to get too worked up. I'm focused on GETTING BETTER! Not to worry though, through letting my emotions come out on my own time when I'm alone and can experience them fully, I'm becoming strong, yet incredibly vulnerable these days. Then, I cried some more today...

Ok, so I fudged on one thing about yesterday's post. I worked until 8pm today........ whoops! =) We closed the residence halls today so that the students could go on spring break. It was not completely necessary that I work that late, but glad that I did. The only part that was tough is that Jason's brother and cousin are visiting, and the boys waited on me for about 3 hours. So, I bought them dinner at a sushi buffet place, it was AWESOME! =) Now the guys are playing starcraft, and I made them pop with our sodastream machine, and then made a couple different kinds of iced tea so they would have options other than water, almond milk, and beer. Quite a range of beverage choices eh? Not your "everyday" fridge items. Yesterday I feel like my post was pretty morbid. I came out about being depressed and times when I wanted to end my life. Because I was in such a cheery mood I started that topic byway of talking about my experience at a memorial services for a student i...

So, a whole week without posting. As much as I love to talk about myself, it is nice to have had some other things to focus on. After my mom left, I moved out of my Aunt's house on Saturday. We both bawled. I miss her a lot, I'm thinking about her all the time. I miss the boys, all their little projects and homework, and miss having a BIG BED! Jason and I do not fit on our bed but boy do we try. He's not been sleeping well because apparently I've learned to unconsciously push back when he tries to move me over when he comes to bed. I know nothing about this! Anyways, I miss living with a family, always having close access to MY family, and the peace of being in a home instead of an apartment in the residence halls. I've visited the suite above me 3 times this week due to noise. It's not intentional, it's the bliss of being 18-19 and not aware that your music is not everyone's taste. =) I went back to work this week with the intention that it would be h...

My mom left to go back to Michigan today. She has to be at work tomorrow morning, isn't she a trooper? I've only done that kind of thing twice, and regretted it both times, so I hope she doesn't push herself too far, she's on call this weekend. Either way, I miss her already. Her being here cushioned Brett leaving, but nothing is here to cushion her leaving. It's been a quiet afternoon, there is just a piece of today missing. It will take a little bit before it feels right again. Part of this is that I have not spent a minute to myself since she came. Brett and I slept in different rooms, my mom and I didn't. When you're so used to being attached at the hip with someone it obviously is strange to not be. Lisa and I have been in the same house all day, but trying to get our stuff done. I paid medical bills, she set up the boys baseball schedules. Productive, quiet, new? So this morning, I woke up at 6 to see my mom off, fell asleep at like, 7:30, woke up at...

Well, life is calming down after the big excitement of YAY I finished! No radiation or chemo, still pills, still naps, etc. I'm going in for my MRI on May 2nd, and meeting with my doctors on the 5th and 6th. SO... more answers to how all this went are not coming for a little while. Try to be patient guys, I know that my last post raised some questions, but we've still got another month before we know any answers as to what was the result of my radiation and chemo. This gives my brain a chance to recover, stop swelling, and for all that tissue around my tumor to be less irritated so they can get a clear picture of the tumor itself and whether it stopped growing. (Which if you subscribe to my awesomeness, it TOTALLY STOPPED, we just need the photographic evidence!). On a sad note, my mom is going to Michigan on Thursday, and taking my car "EVEE" with her... (Just to make sure I don't get tempted to use it myself... mwahahah!) I'll miss my mommy! With her soon ...

So, the first checkpoint was my surgery, which I made look SO easy. Brain surgery is sexy, it really is. I scared the crap out of everyone I love and looked GOOD doing it! Radiation, now that was definitely a harder battle. Daily driving for 30-75 minutes depending on the traffic, that sucked. Loosing my hair on the right side of my head and the irritation and whatnot. Not so sexy. Chemo, I actually tolerated that well, I was able to eat spicy food, sugar, etc. I only got sick one night when I had McDonalds. ( I was craving a big mac and a quarter pounder so I had a quarter pounder with big mac sauce, it was worth it!!) Tonight is my last night of Chemo for at least a month! Cross your fingers, I could get lucky and only need to do a short amount of "maintenance" chemo. However, second checkpoint, tedious, a lot of work done for me on behalf of my family and my lover, a lot of boredom, then frustration, and overall whining on my part, but DONE! WELLLLLLLLL..... what's...