One Less Thing To Worry About

Sorry! I just realized that I hadn't updated you all. It's not nice to say "it's delayed" and then not say if or when it happened. It did. I made it! However, let me tell you about night 5 of the chemo cycle. All nights, starting at 9pm, I have to take pills at exact times over the next two hours. I'm wrought with restlessness and anticipation. I pace, sit, look at my phone to check the time every 10 minutes, and fret over missing the timeline. Sometimes I do and things have to shift, it's not the end of the world but it adds to the unease. Music, TV, Meditation, Torin snuggles, I use all of the distractions and calming strategies plus some. They don't always work as well as I hope. It is easy to fall down the rabbit hole of doubt. I let myself imagine and make plans for a tough night. Most importantly, which bathroom I'm going to use so I don't wake Torin and Aaron.  It takes all of the mental fortitudes I can muster to swallow 4 horse-pills o...

So unfortunately we had to delay my chemo by a few days. For a good reason, though. We finally qualified for the vaccine! Aaron and I both got it done today! This is such a relief since Southeast Michigan is experiencing a huge influx of Covid cases. My doc was like I hate to delay your chemo, but if this is what you want to do I highly recommend it. So if I feel well in 24 hours I'm clear to take my meds tomorrow night.  When I found out that it would be safe for me to take it while on chemo and that I was going to finally get it I was GIDDY. We have been soooo careful, and will continue to be because we could still be carriers, but there is a huge sense of relief.  Infinitely decreasing my death while immunosuppressed, one less thing to worry about. Another very important reason to vaccinate:

 I'm starting round 2 on Monday. My bloodwork this last week showed that I recovered well from round one. Whoop! The first time they put me at 75% of the therapeutic dose as a safety measure. Yes, I felt like crap, but for this time, I asked for more. "I can handle it, I want the max, let's fuck Earl up!" I'm going to beat the crap out of both of us so I can win. I don't want to waste time being nice. Lindsay popped up on my memories on facebook today. She was one of my best friends, since age 9. My aunt thought I needed a playmate when I would stay across the state at my grandparent's house in the summer, so she introduced me to her friend's daughter, and we were friends from the moment we met. A year after I was declared as in remission, Lindsay called and said she was sick. Two months later, she was gone. Lindsay was the light of any room she walked into. Kind, funny, loyal, and inspiring. She saw and brought out the best in others. She lived with l...