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The Very Unmerry Unbirthday

It is February 6th, 2022.

If Earl hadn't showed up last year I would be celebrating 10 years of remission today. Most brain cancer survivors are not fortunate enough to have 9 years but we can give ourselves permission to count our good fortunes while also grieving the loss of them. February 6th has turned into a former and now an unmerry unbirthday. Sigh.

More symptoms and more often seems to be the theme recently. I am having seizures a couple of days a week. I'm unsteady on my feet. I've fallen twice but haven't sustained any lasting injuries, just sore. That unpredictability of when my body might "power off" crumple makes me anxious to pick up Torin and carry him. Toddlers are wiggly enough already! When I try to redirect or take his hand to walk him instead, he doesn't understand. Consequently, his meltdowns are an extra emotional burden on us both. He sure gets plenty of snuggles though, I mean, how can you not?!

I am still having headaches. They are never going away, I'm just trying to manage them. That has been the same since 2010 so business as usual. The steroids are keeping them from getting worse and also waking up my metabolism. I'm consistently hungry for the first time in a year! One less thing to worry about! Did somebody say cookie?! I may have purchased 10 boxes of girl scout cookies. Shhhhhhhh... 

I am tolerating this chemo much better than the previous two so that's another less thing to worry about! I have a scan next month and the good news we're hoping for is simply for Earl to stop and give me a breather. Cross your fingers!


It took him a while to get to this phase but now we're starting to see Torin pick a random spot, lay down, and rest his eyes for a little bit. 
Torin has been rubbing against the couch as he walks across it and this amount of static is amazing and hilarious!
Teaching Torin how to take a selfie:


Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 27, 2022 at 10:50 AM

    Dear Danielle, hope this finds you well. Happy belated birthday! Is your bday Feb 6??? OMG my husband's is also on that day. Now I'll never forget your bday!! I'm so sorry that you are experiencing many symptoms, but also glad that at least a new round of treatment has begun and hopefully you will be fully responsive to that as it kicks in. Fingers crossed for your scan and for everything. Please hang in there!!! And keep writing and recording. Btw, Torin is so cute and he's so lucky to have you as his mom! ♥️ Sincerely, Zaiyi

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