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Courage is....

Today I'm divulging a secret. Kind of like a little habit you catch yourself doing and hide it a little. I'm letting the world know that I collect quotes. I have quotes upon quotes upon quotes saved in word documents, tucked into binders and posted in my apartment, office and car. To some this may not be a surprise as my first outlet when I was a teenager was music (lyrics) and poetry, and my outlet as an adult is writing this blog (and still hoarding quotes). The longer I live the more I talk, (which is a LOT) and the more convinced I become that I'm secretly a novelist. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just moonlighting in my current career and that maybe one day I will open a drawer and find that I've written tons of books, kind of like a Edward Norton thing in Fight Club, with the whole soap and Brad Pitt thing. A little creepy, yes, but this is why I share that random inner tidbit:

Today was the PET scan and I found out that I am going to need to go back on chemo. (After a whole 8 days off WHOOPEE!) There are two tiny areas they are monitoring, and one is dead on the scan today, and the other has very SUBTLE activity, so subtle that it can't be seen with the naked eye on the image, only the machine could pick it up. I could have opted to stop chemo and just watch that area, it may not advance. But, being very thorough is much more my personality type so I am going to continue to treat aggressively. What this means is that I've got another three rounds of chemo and then another PET scan in approximately 3 months. The fight is not over yet, time to "dig-in" again because there is still more to go!

Oh, FYI due to my scan I'm radioactive until 10am. AND I don't even get to glow in the dark or darn a web-like costume. Amusing yet quasi-lame. Maybe it's like that hulk serum and you need more to REALLY become a superhero!

So here's the quote that's played on my mind all day:

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”- Mary Anne Radmacher


The news wasn't as good as I hoped, but I still have the words of others to lean-on and to use as a source of motivation to fight my fight, One Less Thing To Worry About.

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