Big News Coming Soon!

Well, I spent my writing time adding pictures... scroll down and have some fun! Please don't laugh too hard at my snowbeast pic. Nice socks Eric, btw...

October 27th is the BIG DAY! I am getting a PET Scan, which will show the cell activity of my tumor. It will also tell us if I can be officially declared "in remission" and quit chemo, or if I will still have a little while to go. I'm having my Doc appointment the very same day so I don't have to wait. =) Smart Doc, she knew both my dad and I would stalk her, so she was better off to give me some answers the same day! Hehe.

In the meantime, it's work work work work work, oh, and some more work. Oh, and a nap. I had chemo this last Wed-Sun, so I'm needing to nap more for the next few days. No biggie, not a tough work week, the students had a little break over the Jewish holiday so there's not a stack of incident reports for me to do, I can focus on the fun stuff like all of our BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH programming, and our walk on Oct 16th! =)
Click Here If You'd Like to Donate on my Behalf!

So FINALLY, we're going to see the nitty gritty of what I'm up against. I'm thinking of naming my tumor Earl. Cuz Earl had to DIE!!!!! Duh duh da da DA DA DA! Cuz Earl had to DIE! Duh duh da da DA DA GOOOODBYYYYYE EARRRRRRL!

After that Music break here's the final thought for the day:

Answers are coming soon, one less thing to worry about! =)

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Butterfly Day

( The title of the last blog post indicated that I needed a simple name for this day. I can't remember if someone suggested it outright, or whether they said something to make me think of it, but either way, the name I now use is Butterfly Day. Torin painted on a picture of a butterfly at school on the very day his mother passed, and his teachers had just so happened to put his name and date on it.) Another year has passed, and it simultaneously seems like a short time and a long time. I do still write letters to Danielle, but just haven't been posting them here. The one I just wrote took a lot out of me, in fact, so this probably won't be a long update. When I took over the blog, one of the things that felt important in continuing this legacy was to document not only the grief process, but the process of healing. Overall, on a day-by-day basis, I'd say I have come to terms with my loss. By that, I mean that, except for days like today, and on a few rare other occasion...

So this is what the end looks like

Hasn't even been a week this time, and there's more to talk about. Saturday, we hung out. Torin got sick (after three whole days at daycare/"playschool"), so my parents didn't bring him by, as Danielle getting even a cold right now would be not good. Her childhood friend, whom we've become close with again in recent years, had already planned months ago to come to Ann Arbor that day, so she came by at night. We chatted, had some laughs, and it was good. Sunday morning, we were giving Danielle her pills, and one went down the wrong pipe. She wasn't strong enough to cough it up right away, so it was lodged there, causing a lot of discomfort and difficulty breathing. It was scary. I called hospice, and they said "warm sips of water while rubbing her back", so we did that. We think the pill dissolved (at least mostly) after a few hours, but the cough and some wheezing remained. Her friend came by again in the evening, and we established some new stra...

Letter In A Bottle

Today, on what would be her 38th birthday, I wrote a letter to Danielle. It's the first such letter I've written, and it was cathartic. I wasn't sure whether I would just paste it here, or just paste parts of it here, or write something else entirely, but I've decided to share it in its unabridged entirety. It re-treads some ground that I've already covered in this blog, but this was written to Danielle; those were not. Most typos are inside jokes or turns of phrase. Happy birthday, Danielle. I love you. First, foremost, and always. My love for you is unconditional, unquestionable, and unquantifiable. I miss you. Lort, how I miss you. I miss your smile, your wit, your kindness, your grace, your strength, your care, your laugh, your sillies . I miss my partner and companion. I miss my babymama. I miss my wiff. I cry every day. I have a little ritual - my specific time for grieving you. When I put Torin to bed, I play him the last video you made. I can watch the video...

One Less Thing To Worry About

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