Well, I survived maintenance chemo, and today's bloodwork says that my platelets are doing good, so life returns to... errr... normal?
The only lasting symptom of this last round with chemo is what Jason called "grazing." This reminds me of the horses over at Dad's, and Jason is alluding to similar behavior except I'm not gorging like "the boys." I eat a little here, little there, a yogurt,a apple sauce, peanut butter on toast, some honey dew, cereal with soymilk, a few carrots... etc... I don't ever eat a lot at once or an actual meal. Meat, meh. I'll eat imitation crab, that's about it, and I prefer it cold. Anything cooked or greasy just does not seem appetizing at all, and no, I'm not pregnant, I'm too poisonous for childbearing at the moment. It also could be that I actually have time to run and grab this or that, rather than anything to do with symptoms. A whole lotta talkin about nothing probably.
Jason bought me a plane ticket directly into Manistee for June 2nd, that is going to be interesting! =) I'm excited to be home. Two weeks from tomorrow, I am SO READY for this. Home in time for strawberries, and sugar snap peas, and lilacs to bloom... I just want to spend my summer some where beautiful.
Actually, the biggest challenge this week is non-cancer related, but I'm finding that everything I do now will tie back into my diagnosis. My emotions are worn more on my sleeve and my convictions about life are the same and if anything stronger than ever. What I've been going through these last few months makes every other challenge that much harder because there is already a lot on my plate, and all life decisions tie back to cancer. I have to figure in cancer as a lifelong companion with concessions and demands, similar to considering Jason's career or wants/needs when I make plans for my own. Cancer joins my heart and mind too, forever.
Danielle's Story Time:
So, I mentioned a few posts back that I had a teacher I wanted to talk about. Ray Golden, my Reiki Master. When I was at UofM, I had the pleasure of taking courses with professord Dr. Richard Mann, who challenged us to think differently and embrace some other areas of the human mind and life. He's one of the leading transpersonal psychologists in the country, and unfortunately he is no longer working at UofM, from what I understand. Through my psychology of consciousness course with Dr. Mann, I was hooked up with Ray, a Reiki Master, and chose Reiki as my area of study for my final project. Me and 3 others from my class visited Ray's center for Intuitive Healing and learned about the history of Reiki, some things to watch for in people who "claim" to do Reiki (click here, pay $40, and you are now a Reiki Master!), and also had some quick sessions done on us, all of us watching how it's done and taking note, etc.
From then on, I was on Ray's email list, and stayed on it, seeing his "Reiki 1 certification (attunement)" course advertisements, or occasional requests for Reiki or prayers from people asking Ray for help and he forwarding it out to all of us so that the person could have a lot of people praying or sending energy to them.
Summer 2009, 4 years after my initial reaction with Ray, and having no physical connection to that community because I was in Arkansas or Albany, I made the decision to do my level 1 Reiki. I did, and then this past summer, 2010, I worked with Ray again and got my level 2 training. After level 1 I can practice Reiki on others, with level 2 I have increased my skills and can do distance healing, etc. Anything further would require Master's training (to be taught how to teach others), which I was considering.
When I started experiencing "the smell" on December 20th, I was 30 minutes from Ray's center, and perfectly willing to go down to him, because he was physically closer than my dad, and I trusted him, he was my teacher and trusted guide into the self-healing realm (which is never a substitute for western medicine). I called and left messages, and emailed, and got no answer, and so I sensed something was wrong. The next day I went up north to my parents and was under the wing of my dad and Jason a few days later. Then, all the drama with diagnosis and surgery, etc, and I still hadn't heard from Ray.
Finally, on January 29th, the day after I found out I had cancer, I learned that my teacher and second-most trusted guide on the subject of healing (Daddy first!) had died on November 5th. I felt like a part of me had already died too. But, then, as in Danielle fashion, I picked myself up and found gratefulness in the time I had gotten with Ray. I think it was purposeful. I had waited years to get training and know him better, could have let more years go by and never received it. I think that I was getting ready, ready for cancer, building my armor for the fight ahead long before I knew there was a "fight."
You better believe me that I know that God would do something like this, help me find a way to cope and battle cancer long before I knew that that is what I was gaining this "openness" was for. Every day when I was in the radiation machine, and they were lining me up for treatment, I was prepping myself and doing Reiki on myself. Every day. I had better than "normal" results with my radiation, and I think that Reiki contributed to this.
Let me make CLEAR: I don't think that it's because of Reiki, it's BECAUSE of Radiation and Chemo that my tumor is stopped and smaller. Reiki didn't treat me, Radiation did, but Reiki made me more receptive to that treatment, and helped me deal with the side effects of said treatment. Now that is some amazing stuff.
And, like my chats with God, I send a little nod at Ray now and then, and ask him for help when I need it. He left behind two sons, a grandchild, mom and two brothers, and probably thousands of people he affected through training their family, loved ones, or friends that then helped them heal. What a legacy of love. I miss him but glad I'm part of it, that he is still a part of me. One Less Thing to Worry About.
A little educational reading on Reiki, wiki does pretty good
A little more specifics about who can do Reiki and what it IS
Ray's Reiki Page
Ray's Virtual Memorial
The only lasting symptom of this last round with chemo is what Jason called "grazing." This reminds me of the horses over at Dad's, and Jason is alluding to similar behavior except I'm not gorging like "the boys." I eat a little here, little there, a yogurt,a apple sauce, peanut butter on toast, some honey dew, cereal with soymilk, a few carrots... etc... I don't ever eat a lot at once or an actual meal. Meat, meh. I'll eat imitation crab, that's about it, and I prefer it cold. Anything cooked or greasy just does not seem appetizing at all, and no, I'm not pregnant, I'm too poisonous for childbearing at the moment. It also could be that I actually have time to run and grab this or that, rather than anything to do with symptoms. A whole lotta talkin about nothing probably.
Jason bought me a plane ticket directly into Manistee for June 2nd, that is going to be interesting! =) I'm excited to be home. Two weeks from tomorrow, I am SO READY for this. Home in time for strawberries, and sugar snap peas, and lilacs to bloom... I just want to spend my summer some where beautiful.
Actually, the biggest challenge this week is non-cancer related, but I'm finding that everything I do now will tie back into my diagnosis. My emotions are worn more on my sleeve and my convictions about life are the same and if anything stronger than ever. What I've been going through these last few months makes every other challenge that much harder because there is already a lot on my plate, and all life decisions tie back to cancer. I have to figure in cancer as a lifelong companion with concessions and demands, similar to considering Jason's career or wants/needs when I make plans for my own. Cancer joins my heart and mind too, forever.
Danielle's Story Time:
So, I mentioned a few posts back that I had a teacher I wanted to talk about. Ray Golden, my Reiki Master. When I was at UofM, I had the pleasure of taking courses with professord Dr. Richard Mann, who challenged us to think differently and embrace some other areas of the human mind and life. He's one of the leading transpersonal psychologists in the country, and unfortunately he is no longer working at UofM, from what I understand. Through my psychology of consciousness course with Dr. Mann, I was hooked up with Ray, a Reiki Master, and chose Reiki as my area of study for my final project. Me and 3 others from my class visited Ray's center for Intuitive Healing and learned about the history of Reiki, some things to watch for in people who "claim" to do Reiki (click here, pay $40, and you are now a Reiki Master!), and also had some quick sessions done on us, all of us watching how it's done and taking note, etc.
From then on, I was on Ray's email list, and stayed on it, seeing his "Reiki 1 certification (attunement)" course advertisements, or occasional requests for Reiki or prayers from people asking Ray for help and he forwarding it out to all of us so that the person could have a lot of people praying or sending energy to them.
Summer 2009, 4 years after my initial reaction with Ray, and having no physical connection to that community because I was in Arkansas or Albany, I made the decision to do my level 1 Reiki. I did, and then this past summer, 2010, I worked with Ray again and got my level 2 training. After level 1 I can practice Reiki on others, with level 2 I have increased my skills and can do distance healing, etc. Anything further would require Master's training (to be taught how to teach others), which I was considering.
When I started experiencing "the smell" on December 20th, I was 30 minutes from Ray's center, and perfectly willing to go down to him, because he was physically closer than my dad, and I trusted him, he was my teacher and trusted guide into the self-healing realm (which is never a substitute for western medicine). I called and left messages, and emailed, and got no answer, and so I sensed something was wrong. The next day I went up north to my parents and was under the wing of my dad and Jason a few days later. Then, all the drama with diagnosis and surgery, etc, and I still hadn't heard from Ray.
Finally, on January 29th, the day after I found out I had cancer, I learned that my teacher and second-most trusted guide on the subject of healing (Daddy first!) had died on November 5th. I felt like a part of me had already died too. But, then, as in Danielle fashion, I picked myself up and found gratefulness in the time I had gotten with Ray. I think it was purposeful. I had waited years to get training and know him better, could have let more years go by and never received it. I think that I was getting ready, ready for cancer, building my armor for the fight ahead long before I knew there was a "fight."
You better believe me that I know that God would do something like this, help me find a way to cope and battle cancer long before I knew that that is what I was gaining this "openness" was for. Every day when I was in the radiation machine, and they were lining me up for treatment, I was prepping myself and doing Reiki on myself. Every day. I had better than "normal" results with my radiation, and I think that Reiki contributed to this.
Let me make CLEAR: I don't think that it's because of Reiki, it's BECAUSE of Radiation and Chemo that my tumor is stopped and smaller. Reiki didn't treat me, Radiation did, but Reiki made me more receptive to that treatment, and helped me deal with the side effects of said treatment. Now that is some amazing stuff.
And, like my chats with God, I send a little nod at Ray now and then, and ask him for help when I need it. He left behind two sons, a grandchild, mom and two brothers, and probably thousands of people he affected through training their family, loved ones, or friends that then helped them heal. What a legacy of love. I miss him but glad I'm part of it, that he is still a part of me. One Less Thing to Worry About.
A little educational reading on Reiki, wiki does pretty good
A little more specifics about who can do Reiki and what it IS
Ray's Reiki Page
Ray's Virtual Memorial
Comments
Post a Comment