Today, Bill Clinton came to speak on my campus. One of the Resident Assistants that works for my quad was instrumental in helping make this happen. I can see just about everyone I work with going and enjoying that. Again, amazing things around us all the time.
I met with my neuro-oncologist, we talked a lot about all my pills, and to make a long story short, I'm decreasing one and increasing another in hopes to make my naughty seizures go away. We also talked more in depth about my bloodwork from last week, and my platelets are technically still good, but they dropped almost half after 10 days of chemo. This may not be good, so I'm going in tomorrow to get my blood drawn again so my doctor can make sure that I don't drop at that rate every 10 days, that's too fast. Jason went online and started looking up foods that increase platelets as soon as we walked out of the office, so I'm certain this will be a non-issue in a matter of days.
My aunt Lisa drove me to radiation and then dropped me off at campus today. Talk about an unsung hero. I have been a deadbeat at her house for weeks, and she drives me around, and I eat all of their food, and it's just ridiculous! Now my boyfriend is here too, picking on her kids, and then there is the parade of my family that has come to her house to be with me or "help" take care of me, which normally means more people for her to feed and one of my cousins giving up their bed, etc. When I chose to live and work here, I always thought that being close to my family would be awesome, and we've had many basketball, baseball, football games to go to, and dinners, and just fun times overall. I never expected this, a haven to go to in the midst of the storm, and someone who actually actively participates in all this craziness on top of her own busy busy busy crazy life. I have literally witnessed that this woman never sits still, ever. Again, can't believe that I am this loved, or this lucky to have these kinds of support systems available to me. She is my godmother too, it was so meant to be that she is with me now.
Breaking news, something I realized today: Not everyone is ready to hear the worst-case-scenario. I have accepted that there is a large possibility that my treatment will not do what we hope. However, when you're talking with people, they only want to hear the positive, want to hear your confidence so that they can be confident. Death is still something many people are uncomfortable with. This has posed a little bit of dilemma for me, as I've spoken about before, death is something that I fully accepted right away. Life is something you can't take too seriously, nobody get's out alive anyway! But it is still that topic we tend to sweep under the rug and pretend the 300 pound gorilla is not in the room. I talk openly about the possibility because I can. I will need to be a little more mindful, as not everyone has had weeks to sit with my diagnosis like I have. It's a lot for day to day conversation, so I'm going to have to work on my filter a little bit so I don't give people too much reality for one day. I hope this doesn't come off sounding morbid. I am in no way going to just lay down and take it, I'm fighting for my life and will continue to do so. We teach our kids through sports about how losing "builds character" and how good sportsmanship means more than constant victory. Well, same goes here. =) If I happen to lose, I'll be a good sport about it.
I have accepted the final outcome, no matter how soon or how far it is, One less thing to worry about.
Fluffers! We gave the mangy, most masculine barn cat the cutest name ever! He was the "boss" barn cat at my Dad's, who unfortunately passed before I came home for christmas. He was my BABY. It was strange, but soon as he sensed I was at the house, he would leave the barn (which he never did otherwise) and come mewing like a kitten at the door until "his girl" would let him in the house and cuddle him and find him treats from the fridge. I'm sure he'd be happy to see "his girl" again when it comes time. Gotta love the doofy "I just LOVE you" look he was giving me for the camera last summer.
I met with my neuro-oncologist, we talked a lot about all my pills, and to make a long story short, I'm decreasing one and increasing another in hopes to make my naughty seizures go away. We also talked more in depth about my bloodwork from last week, and my platelets are technically still good, but they dropped almost half after 10 days of chemo. This may not be good, so I'm going in tomorrow to get my blood drawn again so my doctor can make sure that I don't drop at that rate every 10 days, that's too fast. Jason went online and started looking up foods that increase platelets as soon as we walked out of the office, so I'm certain this will be a non-issue in a matter of days.
My aunt Lisa drove me to radiation and then dropped me off at campus today. Talk about an unsung hero. I have been a deadbeat at her house for weeks, and she drives me around, and I eat all of their food, and it's just ridiculous! Now my boyfriend is here too, picking on her kids, and then there is the parade of my family that has come to her house to be with me or "help" take care of me, which normally means more people for her to feed and one of my cousins giving up their bed, etc. When I chose to live and work here, I always thought that being close to my family would be awesome, and we've had many basketball, baseball, football games to go to, and dinners, and just fun times overall. I never expected this, a haven to go to in the midst of the storm, and someone who actually actively participates in all this craziness on top of her own busy busy busy crazy life. I have literally witnessed that this woman never sits still, ever. Again, can't believe that I am this loved, or this lucky to have these kinds of support systems available to me. She is my godmother too, it was so meant to be that she is with me now.
Breaking news, something I realized today: Not everyone is ready to hear the worst-case-scenario. I have accepted that there is a large possibility that my treatment will not do what we hope. However, when you're talking with people, they only want to hear the positive, want to hear your confidence so that they can be confident. Death is still something many people are uncomfortable with. This has posed a little bit of dilemma for me, as I've spoken about before, death is something that I fully accepted right away. Life is something you can't take too seriously, nobody get's out alive anyway! But it is still that topic we tend to sweep under the rug and pretend the 300 pound gorilla is not in the room. I talk openly about the possibility because I can. I will need to be a little more mindful, as not everyone has had weeks to sit with my diagnosis like I have. It's a lot for day to day conversation, so I'm going to have to work on my filter a little bit so I don't give people too much reality for one day. I hope this doesn't come off sounding morbid. I am in no way going to just lay down and take it, I'm fighting for my life and will continue to do so. We teach our kids through sports about how losing "builds character" and how good sportsmanship means more than constant victory. Well, same goes here. =) If I happen to lose, I'll be a good sport about it.
I have accepted the final outcome, no matter how soon or how far it is, One less thing to worry about.
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