Again, nothing yesterday to post. I was the only person yesterday to be home for the entire day. Jason went to work, the boys to practice, the family got together with another family after that... etc. I sat home, mostly due to tiredness, but just because it felt like a good idea at the time. It was strange, but I did actually get about 5 hours of straight alone time, something I haven't had in over a month. I made it! Nothing bad happened! I'm sure this will cause my aunt to breathe easier. =)
In the midst of all the hoopla where I'm being driven here and there and to work, hanging out at work, and even spending a brief couple hours at the apartment where I nap before work to get my energy up, I am mostly scheduled and not alone. Notice a theme here? I am almost NEVER alone. This is not a coincidence, my family orchestrates it. Last weekend, there was a point of time where Collin and I were together for a good part of the day, so we could "watch each other" (his words, it made him feel so grown up).
99% of the time, I don't mind this, I'm an extrovert and collect my energy from being around other people, so it may also be a large part of why I'm feeling so good. I get into the quad office at my work, and I swear, it's like someone just attached me to my "charger" and I start glowing and the positivity just emanates! I love being with the student staff in our central "hub." So many people! They are so DELICIOUS! (lip smacking noises inserted here).
However, having your own time by yourself to designate what you want to do with, it's nice. I haven't missed it much throughout this venture, because I don't need it very often, but yesterday was a little change of scenery. I watched a movie, I sang to songs on my itunes, enjoyed the peace and quiet. Nothing too special, but sometimes "different" is nice, for a moment. Today felt redundant though. Like, hey, I'm noticing a trend here...
The other part of this was because I was so TIRED. I could have gone to Collin's games and pizza party, and would have liked to. However, I bragged last post about how sleep is so awesome, so sleep kept me company today and yesterday like we are best friends FOREVER. This was a little frustrating in the sense that I am at full mental capacity, but have no energy to accompany it with. I like vegging out as much as the next person, but because I want to, not because it's the only option.
So, sleep is a constant companion, but what is soon to not be a companion is my hair. The large clumps are making their exit starting yesterday and even more so today. I went online and looked at scarves and head-wraps. Because I'm getting radiation on my head, my scalp will be extra sensitive. This means that my wig, though beautiful, is the scratchy option that is not appeasing at the moment. Luckily, I am not the only one, many have gone before me in the battle against cancer, and so now there are websites made from survivors themselves, that help put all the best resources at your disposal so you can search, compare, and choose what works best for you. I got an immediate response from questions I posted on a sunday evening. That was GREAT, like there are people out there committed enough to know that cancer doesn't let me have the weekends off, so they don't take them either. That passion and commitment is so encouraging.
As I was reporting to my dad via gmail chat that my hair is starting to bail on me, I came up with an amazing idea! (My dad gave me a frowning smiley in response, he's becoming so chat savvy!!). My brother Brett is coming out this week to take his "turn" in caring for me, AKA, play chauffeur! I've come up with another job for him. Brett can grow his hair out and donate it to me! He's got that thick wavy Joanette hair, and unlike mine, his grows a mile a minute. He was teasing that he'd shave his so we could be bald together, but I'm totally going to mess with him about this. That's what is going to help me this week, Brett=Laughter, and some humor always is helpful. I've been relying on it. It's one thing to joke about wigs while the hair is still on my head, but today was a dose of reality that I've intellectually accepted, but my pride/heart was a little hesitant.
One more thing, there is a brain tumor support group once a month, hosted by my oncology office. It's tomorrow evening. I plan on going and coercing Jason into attending as well. (no use just dropping me off, he should benefit since he's driving me there!) Sounds like a good point, right? I think this is going to be helpful, its for patients and family, and since this is still so new (approaching 2 month mark since surgery in a couple weeks), it would be good to talk to and see the others who have gone before me in this particular fight. Not all brain tumors are cancerous, so not everyone's story will be like mine, but I'm sure there will be plenty to learn and share. Since everyone's experience is different, I still get to forge my own path in this, which is also hopeful since that's SO my way of doing things. However, I am not one to discount some advice or support! Looking forward to updating you on that soon.
When it comes to Cancer Road, there are many resources and guiding voices available to me due to those who have fought, are fighting, and surviving. One less thing to worry about.
Headcovers Story...
The Beau Beau: Beautiful scarves for beautiful heads!
My favorite road in Manistee... Just off of 55 heading out of town, I forgot the name...
In the midst of all the hoopla where I'm being driven here and there and to work, hanging out at work, and even spending a brief couple hours at the apartment where I nap before work to get my energy up, I am mostly scheduled and not alone. Notice a theme here? I am almost NEVER alone. This is not a coincidence, my family orchestrates it. Last weekend, there was a point of time where Collin and I were together for a good part of the day, so we could "watch each other" (his words, it made him feel so grown up).
99% of the time, I don't mind this, I'm an extrovert and collect my energy from being around other people, so it may also be a large part of why I'm feeling so good. I get into the quad office at my work, and I swear, it's like someone just attached me to my "charger" and I start glowing and the positivity just emanates! I love being with the student staff in our central "hub." So many people! They are so DELICIOUS! (lip smacking noises inserted here).
However, having your own time by yourself to designate what you want to do with, it's nice. I haven't missed it much throughout this venture, because I don't need it very often, but yesterday was a little change of scenery. I watched a movie, I sang to songs on my itunes, enjoyed the peace and quiet. Nothing too special, but sometimes "different" is nice, for a moment. Today felt redundant though. Like, hey, I'm noticing a trend here...
The other part of this was because I was so TIRED. I could have gone to Collin's games and pizza party, and would have liked to. However, I bragged last post about how sleep is so awesome, so sleep kept me company today and yesterday like we are best friends FOREVER. This was a little frustrating in the sense that I am at full mental capacity, but have no energy to accompany it with. I like vegging out as much as the next person, but because I want to, not because it's the only option.
So, sleep is a constant companion, but what is soon to not be a companion is my hair. The large clumps are making their exit starting yesterday and even more so today. I went online and looked at scarves and head-wraps. Because I'm getting radiation on my head, my scalp will be extra sensitive. This means that my wig, though beautiful, is the scratchy option that is not appeasing at the moment. Luckily, I am not the only one, many have gone before me in the battle against cancer, and so now there are websites made from survivors themselves, that help put all the best resources at your disposal so you can search, compare, and choose what works best for you. I got an immediate response from questions I posted on a sunday evening. That was GREAT, like there are people out there committed enough to know that cancer doesn't let me have the weekends off, so they don't take them either. That passion and commitment is so encouraging.
As I was reporting to my dad via gmail chat that my hair is starting to bail on me, I came up with an amazing idea! (My dad gave me a frowning smiley in response, he's becoming so chat savvy!!). My brother Brett is coming out this week to take his "turn" in caring for me, AKA, play chauffeur! I've come up with another job for him. Brett can grow his hair out and donate it to me! He's got that thick wavy Joanette hair, and unlike mine, his grows a mile a minute. He was teasing that he'd shave his so we could be bald together, but I'm totally going to mess with him about this. That's what is going to help me this week, Brett=Laughter, and some humor always is helpful. I've been relying on it. It's one thing to joke about wigs while the hair is still on my head, but today was a dose of reality that I've intellectually accepted, but my pride/heart was a little hesitant.
One more thing, there is a brain tumor support group once a month, hosted by my oncology office. It's tomorrow evening. I plan on going and coercing Jason into attending as well. (no use just dropping me off, he should benefit since he's driving me there!) Sounds like a good point, right? I think this is going to be helpful, its for patients and family, and since this is still so new (approaching 2 month mark since surgery in a couple weeks), it would be good to talk to and see the others who have gone before me in this particular fight. Not all brain tumors are cancerous, so not everyone's story will be like mine, but I'm sure there will be plenty to learn and share. Since everyone's experience is different, I still get to forge my own path in this, which is also hopeful since that's SO my way of doing things. However, I am not one to discount some advice or support! Looking forward to updating you on that soon.
When it comes to Cancer Road, there are many resources and guiding voices available to me due to those who have fought, are fighting, and surviving. One less thing to worry about.
Headcovers Story...
The Beau Beau: Beautiful scarves for beautiful heads!
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyh5pfj9LT1qzzhy7o1_400.jpg
ReplyDeletehttp://www.techdigest.tv/britney-spears-bald.jpg
you don't need a wig/scarf