Since I've come out about my cancer, a lot of cancer stories have found their way to me. I'm reconnecting with a girl from high school who is an 8 year survivor of lymphoma, talking to another guy from high school who's two year old son is battling eye cancer, spoke last night with another guy from high school who moved home to be the caretaker of his mother with stage 4 colon cancer. Another story, is the brother-in-law of the mother of my cousin Christian's BFF, brain cancer.
The mother talks with my Aunt Lisa, and so I'm hearing the stories, and even got an opportunity to suggest my FANTASTIC doctors, because this man has brain cancer and is local. He has an egg-sized tumor in his frontal/temporal lobe. Sound familar?! Deja Vu anyone?! The strange part about this, is he has the same size and location of the tumor, but his symptoms are way more severe than mine. His seizures have caused him to lose consciousness, to bite off his own tongue, the doctors have told him that his mass is non-operable. This means they can't even go in there to know the grade. They thought it was two, now they think it is four, but they are not sure. He is needing to go to Boston to have a special surgery that will literally "map" what functions he would lose if they were to operate on the mass. My doctors talked about doing this procedure with me sometime later if we will reach a point where survival equals going in again and removing part of the mass in the basal ganglia, or deeper in the temporal lobe. His is the same size, same place as mine. This man has two kids in college and one of them in particular is a freshman, an amazing athlete, and was a HUGE role-model for my two cousins. This son had a wrist injury that caused him to not be able to compete this season, and he is now facing the possibility of his father never seeing him play for the college. This has been a long-time goal for this family. In the face of something so scary, it seems like they keep collecting bad news. I'm praying for them.
Each time someone opens up to me about their fight in relation to cancer, I feel honored that they chose me to hear. I know that opening lines of communication have a possibility to heal in both directions. My heart has been literally breaking at each story, and the brain one hit me hard today, because it is SO CLOSE to my own.
Yesterday I talked a lot about my symptoms and struggles, and how hard people are fighting for my miracles. It sounds like I've already had more than I realized. My symptoms were very mild, miracle one, I had an operable tumor, miracle two, despite bleeding, I came out of that surgery with no deficits, miracle three, I have a ton of support systems, miracle four, I am tolerating my treatment very well, miracle five....
Today was some sort of "reality" check for me, or something. I have this sense of urgency, like I should be doing more to advocate for others, or reaching out more, or at the very least making DARN SURE I accomplish my "bucket list" since I've been given time/energy/ability to do so. The sense of "lucky" I have been feeling since my surgery seems like it was more an abstract knowledge, as I hear what the another side of my story could and may still possibly be. For me, each step of the way the news got worse, but each time that happened, I came out doing MUCH BETTER than they expected. I want others to have that too, they deserve their miracles just as much as I do.
For those of you who are keeping up with me and reading my long rambles, please know this: If you hear a story about someone with cancer, and hesitate to reach out, like I used to, don't. Even if you can't offer much, a "hello, I'm thinking about you" is helpful. You are a part of my miracles, and so I'm empowering you to be a small part of one for anyone else. No gesture goes unnoticed, and even a small one can tip the scale of fate, right?
Apparently, I'm quite the collector of miracles, one less thing to worry about.
The Manistee, MI, pier. This past summer I took some photos of my favorite places from home.
The mother talks with my Aunt Lisa, and so I'm hearing the stories, and even got an opportunity to suggest my FANTASTIC doctors, because this man has brain cancer and is local. He has an egg-sized tumor in his frontal/temporal lobe. Sound familar?! Deja Vu anyone?! The strange part about this, is he has the same size and location of the tumor, but his symptoms are way more severe than mine. His seizures have caused him to lose consciousness, to bite off his own tongue, the doctors have told him that his mass is non-operable. This means they can't even go in there to know the grade. They thought it was two, now they think it is four, but they are not sure. He is needing to go to Boston to have a special surgery that will literally "map" what functions he would lose if they were to operate on the mass. My doctors talked about doing this procedure with me sometime later if we will reach a point where survival equals going in again and removing part of the mass in the basal ganglia, or deeper in the temporal lobe. His is the same size, same place as mine. This man has two kids in college and one of them in particular is a freshman, an amazing athlete, and was a HUGE role-model for my two cousins. This son had a wrist injury that caused him to not be able to compete this season, and he is now facing the possibility of his father never seeing him play for the college. This has been a long-time goal for this family. In the face of something so scary, it seems like they keep collecting bad news. I'm praying for them.
Each time someone opens up to me about their fight in relation to cancer, I feel honored that they chose me to hear. I know that opening lines of communication have a possibility to heal in both directions. My heart has been literally breaking at each story, and the brain one hit me hard today, because it is SO CLOSE to my own.
Yesterday I talked a lot about my symptoms and struggles, and how hard people are fighting for my miracles. It sounds like I've already had more than I realized. My symptoms were very mild, miracle one, I had an operable tumor, miracle two, despite bleeding, I came out of that surgery with no deficits, miracle three, I have a ton of support systems, miracle four, I am tolerating my treatment very well, miracle five....
Today was some sort of "reality" check for me, or something. I have this sense of urgency, like I should be doing more to advocate for others, or reaching out more, or at the very least making DARN SURE I accomplish my "bucket list" since I've been given time/energy/ability to do so. The sense of "lucky" I have been feeling since my surgery seems like it was more an abstract knowledge, as I hear what the another side of my story could and may still possibly be. For me, each step of the way the news got worse, but each time that happened, I came out doing MUCH BETTER than they expected. I want others to have that too, they deserve their miracles just as much as I do.
For those of you who are keeping up with me and reading my long rambles, please know this: If you hear a story about someone with cancer, and hesitate to reach out, like I used to, don't. Even if you can't offer much, a "hello, I'm thinking about you" is helpful. You are a part of my miracles, and so I'm empowering you to be a small part of one for anyone else. No gesture goes unnoticed, and even a small one can tip the scale of fate, right?
Apparently, I'm quite the collector of miracles, one less thing to worry about.
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