One Less Thing To Worry About

Radiation next. They are working on a treatment plan and we hope to start soon. We took a mini trip to St. Joseph in the middle of the week to avoid the crowds. We also found a secluded cottage on the water. My requirements were to wake up hearing and seeing the lake. It was a needle in a haystack to find an affordable version of these requests last minute, but we found it. Aaron's parents took the dog and the baby so we could relax. A nice change of scenery before it got colder and my energy waned.  I feel incredibly lucky that we are able to just take off like this. Aaron has the flexibility at work and the means to take his spoiled wife to nice places like the lake.  I grew up right on the bluff of Lake Michigan and it feels like I am part of it. When I hear it I feel at home. It's like pushing the reset button and I immediately relax. I've been specific with those closest that after I expire I want part of me spread across the water, back home.  So, a plan is in the w...

Not great news. Chemo isn't working. The original area of concern seems to have responded, however there are new mutations and they are moving fast. This week has been scary. I had a scan last Friday night and Monday evening I was able to read the results in my health portal. Some text in that report said "this is concerning for disease progression". So then we were worried with no context for 2 days until my appointment on Wednesday that confirmed the chemo wasn't working. My case was presented to a bunch of doctors Friday morning and it looks like radiation and a new chemo combination is what they came to a consensus about. But, that's not set in stone. We will find out next week if the location can be safely treated via radiation. If not, straight to chemo. For now, all treatment will stop until radiation is set up which means I might have a couple of weeks of feeling better. So now we are discussing how we will spend that time. Obviously we want to take advant...

Hi Friends! Some updates and some thoughts: Before became ill, I never really considered cancer alongside work. People who have cancer work all of the time. I knew people who had had cancer and were working. What that is like for people isn't common knowledge, it was never discussed in my circles. Last time, while battling, I worked and I was fine.  However, I was in the middle of applications/talks for a position as a student in a Career Psychology PhD program. I walked away from the vision of myself as a Dr. because I was sick. I didn't want to accept a spot that someone else could have because there was no guarantee I would live long enough to finish the program. I also decided that I didn't need a PhD to do what I loved, which was work with and guide college students. So I did that. This time, I am on the baby train so balancing work with cancer is not a current predicament. However, I am considering restarting my coaching, especially since I was invited to conduct a tr...

Sorry for the radio silence. Things are looking up but let me tell you how we got there. May was challenging, both physically and emotionally. My platelets dipped, then my white counts played games with us, and then we had trouble getting ahold of my chemo when it was time to start. Some of you may know that I HATE bring lost and not knowing EXACTLY where I am. Mostly if I am more than 2 hours away from where somebody I trust could retrieve me. Living in Arkansas and New York challenged me, but after the first trip alone back to MI I was fine for the rest of them. All last month I didn't know where I was. A few minutes of that kind of stress when on the road sucks. A few weeks of similar stress when your life is on the line..... I broke down a lot. I prefer to cry late at night after Aaron and Torin are sleeping so Aaron doesn't fuss and worry. However we watched a series called "Solo" a couple of weeks ago and one of the episodes had us both sobbing. Right after we c...

 Just when you think things are looking up... Monday I got my bloodwork done and my platelets have skyrocketed. I went from 44k to 152k. After seeing that, I sent my doctor a message thinking we would get started on this next round of chemo in another day or two.  Yesterday, I read a message from them that we are not starting for at least another week. My platelets bounced back but my white count is still dropping. I have to take my temp daily and go for bloodwork this upcoming Monday.  This was disappointing news, and I was a little downtrodden about it but my first thought was "well that bites, but it's doable, I'll probably be fine". Planner Danielle thought about next week and the possibility of going onto chemo that week and began to make arrangements.  As I went through the mental checklists I realized that that upcoming weekend is Torin's birthday and I might be on chemo and feeling unwell on his first birthday. Then I was not OK. This whole thing is hard a...

So I received a transfusion Monday. Now I'm a medically assisted vampire. Great! My platelets were down to 15k, it had to be done. Luckily, I bounced back enough by Thursday to not need a second transfusion. 44k, I just have 60k more to go before I can do the next round of chemo, no big deal. The first thing my dad did when I texted him that I was getting a transfusion he called and nagged me that even though I'm clumsy I must absolutely not fall because that will be very dangerous for me. He said at least three times: no heels, you like those heels. 😂 In my head, I'm like, thanks? Nothing says I love you like accusing me of lacking the ability to stand on my own two feet. He's not wrong though... I broke my ankle walking out my front door a few months ago.  Having low platelets means that I am having trouble with coagulation. Hence, I have bruises everywhere. They are all up and down my legs from the cats walking across me at night. The other night Demi kneaded my sto...

 Well, not so great news today. My platelets are at 41k, the lowest they've been since my 30-day straight affair with Temodar back in Feb of 2011. Other than that, the lowest I was in 2011 was 60k. Basically, my body isn't bouncing back as well as it used to. There are other factors, of course, but it's still not good news. Monday I have to go in again for bloodwork and if I've dipped lower I'm going to need a transfusion. That's scary. As soon as she said that I started to cry. Not because it's a daunting procedure but because of what it meant: a delay in my treatment and probably a lower dose next time. That is not the end of the world but it is disappointing that I might not be able to hit Earl as hard as I need/want to.  I'll let you all know how it goes on Monday. I'll be fine either way, they won't just give me a transfusion willy nilly! Somehow, I'm still able to chase this tatted-up, high-speed, maniac crawler around the house with re...